Often, though, the character lacked depth: as thin as a comic page he seemed to come from.
“He was this sort of Roy of the Rovers figure and as I got older I was confused and almost embarrassed by people who knew my dad better than I did,” Rob says.
“Part of the joy of having a father is finding our identity – there’s a little plan there and if we’re lucky we follow the good part and keep the bad part – but I didn’t have that.
“There’s still a child in me who wants to know simple things: what he smelled like and looked like, more about him, instead of this person. That’s eternal confusion.”
Rob channeled that frustration into a book – The Ghost of White Hart Lane – interviewing family members, former team-mates, friends and acquaintances, in an attempt to discover the person who started the story.
And slowly he found him.
Rob heard about the sadness and homesickness that would grip John every winter in London. He heard about the time he drove home very drunk, cutting through the gates of White Hart Lane in his car. More tellingly, the uncle told Rob about the child John fathered in Scotland and abandoned before he traveled south, played for Spurs and met Sandra.
“Part of me has always been trying to live up to this person who was absolutely perfect, who was adored not only by family, but by hundreds of thousands of people,” says Rob.
“To know he had flaws and weaknesses, that he struggled with self-confidence, mental health and seasonality, that he had made mistakes – if I had discovered all of that earlier, it would have meant more to my life.
“If we know our parents are wrong, it makes us understand that we can make mistakes. We don’t have to know all the answers.”
John’s absence made Rob unsure if his presence would be.
Rob is a still life photographer – “I’ve always been looking for those details and tips” – and also trains as a consultant.
Later this month, Rob will be in the audience at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium for the premiere of a play, called The Ghost of White Hart Lane, which he commissioned about his father’s life.
The platform is meant to share his father’s story with generations of fans who don’t remember John’s life or death.
“It’s something I talk about with my own therapist,” he says. “After seeing how the story was read, it reinforced the reasons I wanted to get involved with the project.
“I think there is something to try to revive my father.”
After two nights in Tottenham, the game will be moved north, taking the opposite journey to the one John took in life. temporarily at the Edinburgh Festival., out
There are some things that remain lost. Rob is still looking for a recording of John’s voice. One of his match-worn Tottenham shirts remains elusive.
But over the decades, she has found much more: an understanding and compassion for a father she never knew.
